Good Exhausted
This week was exhausting, and many of you know why. Your messages and support poured in last Sunday morning after reading my Sunday Starter, and I can’t tell you how much that meant to me and my family. Without going into too many details, I’ll simply share that my mother is now home and doing better. After five days in the hospital, I’m finally beginning to process the whirlwind of emotions this week held.
There were moments I was terrified, thinking I would never get to talk to my mother again.
There were moments I was angry, as doctors dismissed symptoms, meaning we had to fight for the right tests and to get the right answers.
There were moments I was so tired I could barely stay awake, and there were moments I couldn't sleep because my mind wouldn't stop racing.
In the end, though, I realized I am not tired because of a job that's overworking me or some trivial anxiety; I am tired because I had the privilege of supporting my family. So yes, I'm exhausted, but it's a good exhausted. It is good that I was able to spend long hours supporting my parents because in the midst of the fear and fatigue, one truth became crystal clear: advocacy matters.
Studies show that patients with active family advocates are more likely to receive timely diagnoses, appropriate treatment, and better communication from providers. The CDC highlights that speaking and listening - more than reading or numeracy - are the most critical skills for effective advocacy. When those skills are used by someone who knows the patient deeply, who can say this isn’t normal or we need to look again, it can change everything. I saw that firsthand this week. We weren’t just visitors - we were protectors, challengers, and translators in a system that doesn’t always make space for nuance or urgency.
Harvard Business Review echoes this in their article Giving Patients an Active Role in Their Health Care, noting that hospitals with strong patient engagement practices see lower readmission rates and higher satisfaction - especially when families are involved in care planning.
Being able to advocate for my mother wasn’t just a responsibility - it was a gift. Not everyone gets to be present, to ask the hard questions, to push for the right tests, or to hold a hand through the unknown. I don’t take that lightly. And while I’m still catching my breath, I’m also holding onto gratitude because this is the kind of tired that reminds me, I was useful, I was needed, and I was there. If you’ve ever felt good exhausted - the kind that comes from loving fiercely and showing up fully - I hope you know it’s sacred. It’s not burnout, it's purpose and it’s proof that even in the hardest weeks, we can be a source of light.
