Unedited Thoughts

Photo by Andres Molina on Unsplash

The only reason there is a Sunday Starter this morning is because I couldn’t sleep. In the past 36 hours I have been a first responder to an MCI (Mass Casuality Incident), I wrote, rehearsed, and delivered the eulogy at my aunt’s service, and then spent the remainder of the day at the hospital for a family emergency. Needless to say, I’m mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted.

Last night, I knew I had nothing scheduled to go out this morning, but I went to bed anyway. I thought about writing something short and just being done with it, but my brain could not function last night. When I got back from the hospital late at night, all I could do was sleep and I was okay with that.

I was okay with being late today or skipping altogether, because sometimes that’s what life calls for. So, when I woke up this morning around 5 AM, unable to get back to sleep, I wrestled for a little bit with what to do.

On one hand, I think writing posts like this one every once in a while, are a great reminder to the world that it’s okay to give yourself breaks when you need them. So, I thought about getting up and doing that real quick. But then I realized the whole point of that post was to give yourself what you need - mentally, physically, emotionally - so that you can be your best self out in the world. And what I needed this morning was to get out these thoughts that were swirling around in my head. So that’s what I’ve done.

This morning’s post is unedited and so thank you for enduring the typos and what is basically word vomit. This is the step in my process that you don’t often see, but it’s always there. Let it be your reminder that it’s okay to be messy, the first draft always is, and it’s okay to give yourself what you need.

It would have been okay if I didn’t send anything out this morning. But in the end, this is what I needed more so I gave myself what I needed. As you start this week, I hope you are able to do the same.