Personal Growth Blog

“In the critical moment of decision, being kind to yourself is not letting yourself off the hook for things that matter to you, but rather remembering what really matters to you.”
—Kristen B. Hubler | Be Kind To Yourself (Part 2)
Let The Drips Fall
Last year, Andrew and I went to an Art in The Park exhibit to support our friend who had some paintings on display. While we were walking around and looking at the other vendors, the picture above caught my eye. I asked the young girl about it: how did you capture such a moment? She then told me about the work that went into the set up…
The History of The High Five
The high five is something deeply ingrained in our society and so it's odd to think of a time before it existed. Years ago, I listened to a RadioLab podcast about the origin story. I remembered it being interesting and thought it would make for a good Sunday Starter, but when I reread the transcript this morning I was taken on an unexpected journey and into a topic that goes far beyond the high five itself.
The Long Game
As many of you already know, this week I became a published author. Publishing a book has been a dream of mine, but I kept it to myself for so many years. When I finally mustered the courage to admit to someone that I had this lofty goal, it took another 10 years after that to finally start pursing it. I think what put me off for so long was the overwhelming feeling of playing the long game…
The Unexpected Fork
Tuesday night, March 28, I couldn’t sleep. At 7pm I received an email that required a decision. It was an email I wasn’t expecting; a decision I didn’t seek out. Yet there I was, like a traveler making their way through the forest I turned a corner and found myself at a fork. All night I thought through what I should do. Do I continue on the path I had been on? Or do I take this new road and see where it goes?
What Would Jesus Say?
Today, is Easter Sunday. No matter where you stand on religious beliefs I think anyone would agree that this holiday is celebrated all across our country. Some celebrate by going to church. Some dye eggs. Some hunt for plastic and chocolate hidden by a mystical bunny rabbit. Some do all of the above. When I think on all the different things that have made their way into this once religious holiday, I can’t help but ask the question: What would Jesus say?
Pura Vida
In March we spent 10 beautiful days in Costa Rica. During that time, in a new environment with no deadlines or pressure to do anything, I became a different person: relaxed, care-free, and spontaneous. The shift was so dramatic from the anxiety that I had been carrying the last few months that Andrew and I started to jokingly refer to me as Costa Rica Kristen. In the past when I would take time off, it would be very difficult to shift into vacation mode and leave Corporate Kristen behind. Like the rest of America…
Five Years
The day I started this post was March 13, 2023, five years to the day since my brother died. I choose to say died instead of some softer version like saying he passed away or since he left us… or the more annoying since he went to heaven. I can only speak from my personal experience, but I have often felt a pressure to change the words I say for the benefit of others. No one wants to talk about death so we try to gloss over it. But the truth is…
Take The Sick Day
This is your reminder to take a sick day when you need it. Take vacation when you need it. You can be a responsible person and love the people in your life, while still putting up boundaries and taking care of yourself. And in case it wasn’t obvious…. I am sick. So that’s the post.
The American Idea
Imagine walking the streets of Washington D.C. and finding a high security ID badge on the side of the road. You flip over the badge, and on the back are a set of directions. Intrigued, you quickly take out your phone and find a satellite view of the area. You click along the road following the steps: left turn here, right turn there. Eventually the path takes you way out into Virginia, dead-ending at a mountain. What kind of thing could possibly be located in a mountain that needs a high security badge?
You Are Not Average
In the 1920s, Air Force cockpits were designed for the "average man." Using many dimensions of pilots at the time, they created the spacing for the seat and everything they needed to reach according to the average of those measurements. Over time, they started to notice that pilots were having trouble flying the planes. And by trouble, I mean people were crashing and dying at an alarming rate…
Perspective
With my Pinot Noir in hand and a fire under the mantle, I sat contemplating the roller coaster that had been my last few weeks. My favorite chair faces the big front window of my living room, giving me a view of a few trees but mostly open sky. With not much else to distract me, I was tempted to sit and dwell on the difficult moments of my month. As my mind started to trend in that direction, a tiny plane interrupted my train of thought…
How to Remember Everything Ever
A pumpkin costume… that’s what I was wearing when I broke my skull. No, it was not Halloween. Yes, I was the only one in costume. It was 1990-something and I was seven. Or maybe I was eight. Hard to remember. Literally. I’m not sure what led my little mind to put on the costume that day and climb up on the desk. Maybe I was trying to entertain my little brother? Maybe I was acting out because my older siblings wouldn’t let me play Scram Ball? Whatever it was I slipped that pumpkin over my head, climbed up on a desk, and after a slip and four-foot fall I was in the hospital for a week…
The One Hundredth
Today is my 100th Sunday starter email. 100 weeks I stuck with my commitment to writing something new. 100 Sunday mornings I successfully sent out an email. When I saw the number it made me think about how much work I had done over the last two years to get to day 100. It took sacrifice. It took passion. It took commitment. But looking back, I think the hardest part was not getting to Day 100, it was getting to Day 1.
After Anxiety
Today, I had a really great day; a perfect day. Yet tonight, I am sitting here with a weighted blanket on hoping that this feeling of panic will pass. I should have been in bed hours ago but I am still awake, unable to sleep; unable to shake this feeling that is making my heart race and my body uneasy. I’ve learned over the years that this is a pattern that emerges after something big…
Perfect Practice
This shit ain’t going to help you… the stranger said that to me as I perused the business section, looking for something specific I needed to read for work. I happen to be in front of the business for dummies books when he walked by, laughing and judging me, saying, “The best way to learn about business is to be in business. This shit ain’t going to help you.” I smiled and gave an awkward chuckle, grateful that he continued on his way and I didn’t have to start a conversation that would have surely led to him condescendingly explaining “business” to me…
Not My Type
Last month I took this picture while at my favorite Jersey coffee shop, Halo Roasters. I chuckled when I took it because I have been coming to this spot several times a week for years and that was the first time I noticed the door under the counter. I have sat in this same seat countless times looking in that direction; I’ve stood at that counter on many occasions waiting for my coffee or an extra side of hot sauce from the back; I’ve been inches from it, across the room, and everything in between and yet it took me until now for it to catch my attention. I even asked someone if it was new and they confirmed it had been there since the day they opened in July 2020.
A Letter To Resolution Quitters
Dear 2023 Resolution Quitters, First of all, congratulations. You tried! This month you had an idea, an idea of the person you wanted to be, and you gave it a shot. Well done! Secondly, there are no rules; there is no CEO of Resolutions that is overseeing the goals of 2023; no manager that has fired you for not making it to the end. Meaning, you do not have to wait until next year to try again….
Wobble baby, wobble
So, how’s it going? We are one week into the New Year - have you stuck with your resolutions? Have you set any at all? Remember what we learned last week: resolutions are not about finishing, they are about starting, about embarking on a new path with your best guess of how you’re going to make it to the end. Just don’t forget that it’s a guess which means you might get it wrong. The thing that keeps people going is giving yourself permission to try again. Toward the end of 2020, my health was trending in the wrong direction…
Don’t Defer
In the far back of our minds lives a place where dreams go to die. Little comments: it would be so expensive. Harmless thoughts: I don’t have time for that right now. Engrained concepts: I’m not built to do that. Systemic constraints: the world won’t let me do that. These are the words that start to build our box, and one by one all the things we were created to do…
Be The Joy
A few months ago, I read an article about a woman who lost her engagement ring at the beach. She was devastated and made a Hail Mary post on social media asking for anyone to return it if they found it. You want to know what happened? A stranger with a medal detector returned it. What's amazing is that he didn't just stumble upon the ring when he was out…