Personal Growth Blog

“In the critical moment of decision, being kind to yourself is not letting yourself off the hook for things that matter to you, but rather remembering what really matters to you.”
—Kristen B. Hubler | Be Kind To Yourself (Part 2)
The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year?
December is an interesting time of year. The elevator pitch for the holidays is filled with words like joy, love, forgiveness, and magic. It's supposed to be this spectacular time when we all remember to be just a little bit kinder and just a little bit more loving. Seems great, right? Well why is it that we will be all smiles and laughter at a Holiday event, only to…
How To Be Humble
This week I started working on a professional development article about soft skills. While we're on the subject I have to say, I detest that term; by calling these skills soft we are implying that they are less important, but I believe the opposite to be true. Soft skills and key characteristic traits - empathy, humility, problem solving, collaboration, etc. - are not soft but rather essential skills needed for living and working with other humans. It is these that we should be looking for in the people we hire and which we should be trying to develop throughout our personal and professional lives.
Build Your Snowman
Monday, I start a new job. Currently I am up at my family's house in Hannawa Falls, staring at the smooth cold waters of Raquette River. The fire is blazing and there is still a little snow on the ground from Saturday night's dusting. It has been a weird week being here before I start; this is the same house I was in back in June, the week after the company where I worked downsized and I lost my job…
Find Your Sweet Spot
This is the moment. Right here. I've got a great table near the bar. It's nice and big so I can spread out with my laptop, reference books, and my flight of NEIPAs. I'm almost done with my drinks and I've made great progress on my writing tasks. This is the moment where I can stay, or I can choose to go to the other bar in town. I thought about going there originally, but ended up…
Through Fresh Eyes
It is refreshing to hear an experience through the eyes of children. Back in September, I had that opportunity when I was on a flight to Orlando. Sitting next to me was a woman with her 10 month old daughter. Her other two daughters, ages 4 and 7, were with their father in the row in front of us. I admit that my first response to being near a family was a bit grumpy - well at least I have my noise canceling headphones, I thought. Before I put them on, I glanced at the mother…
What Are You Feeding?
When I was in college, I remember getting stopped on the streets of Northampton, Massachusetts by a person trying to get people to sign their petition. I don't remember which side of the issue they were on, or which side my friend was on who warned me about signing, but she pointed out that Planned Parenthood is where they do abortions…
Mile 26
It is currently three days post-marathon and my legs still hurt. After 26 miles of wind and rain, with just 0.2 miles to go, I almost cried when I saw the finish line; not because I was so proud of myself for finishing, but because I was just so happy I could stop running. That last 0.2 mile stretch was brutal. My right knee hurt terribly but I forced myself to pick up my pace. Most of the pictures taken of me near the finish line my…
Break The Chains
The morning this post goes out, I will be running the Atlantic City Marathon. When I cross the finish line it will be the third Full Marathon I have done. You, like many others, may ask the question, why?!?! Don't worry, I often ask myself the same one - Why on earth do I keep doing this to myself? Running a marathon takes…
10 Minutes
It's incredible how accustomed we are to constant activity. In today's world, it is so easy to occupy every moment with something; heck, I won't even sit on the toilet without having my phone to scroll through (Sorry, TMI?). It’s not that I'm always turning to mindless social media; often I'm reading articles, the news, or a book. So, it's not that the content is bad, it's just that the content is always there. Today, I arrived 10 minutes early to a friend's apartment. I knew he was likely still in a virtual meeting, so I sent him a text and sat down on the steps to wait. Before I had the chance to take anything out…
Choices
When this post goes out, it will be my 7 year wedding anniversary. Since I recently figured out how to create reels on Instagram, I thought maybe it would be fun to create something from the past 7 years. So this morning while I listened to a romantic playlist, I started scrolling through my phone, beginning with January 2014, the month we started dating. I laughed and smiled as I reminisced on all the things we did. I remembered that time…
Disruptions
I used to have a friend who never wrote on the first page of a notebook. I don't remember her explanation for why she did this - we were 17, so it has been a few years - but to this day, whenever I open up a new notebook I skip the first page. It's interesting how certain things can leave a mark on our life; a small mark, but a mark none the less.
The Unemployment Bucket List
As I write this, I am sitting in Bryant Park. The sun is peeking through the clouds, I'm in eye shot of the Empire State Building and arms reach of way too many pigeons. In a few minutes, I'll walk the half mile uptown to MoMA, the Museum of Modern Art. While I've lived outside New York most of my life, I have yet to visit the great museums the city has to offer. It's something I've always wanted to do, but could never seem to muster the motivation to make a plan. So what got me here today? A few weeks ago…
Pivot As Needed
Remember last week, when I wrote about writing at the Office? Well, I had such a great experience the first time, I decided to come back here again. When I arrived, I sat down and immediately found my flow. After two hours, with a huge smile on my face, I got up to take a quick break and use the bathroom. I came back not 3 minutes later and there was a gentleman standing very close to where my stuff was. He seemed to be just ordering a drink and I assumed maybe he would take it to another seat - after all, the entire bar was open. Unfortunately, I was wrong.
Find Your Flow
I have been sitting in The Office, a chain restaurant local to New Jersey, for about 30 minutes now. Since I sat down and ordered my Czig Meister Angler New England IPA, I have read several articles and started reading a famous psychological study from 1949 - all of which are in support of finishing the third part of my book. In short, I have gotten a lot of shit done. I find it funny because up until this moment…
When Carrots and Sticks Work
Finish your dinner or you don't get dessert… Clean your room and you'll get 30 more minutes of screen time… Be good in the store and we'll pick out a toy… If you have ever been around children for any extended period of time, you have probably said some version of those statements. While I do not have children myself, I have worked with kids of varying ages as a Children's Director for 6 years and have an additional 4 years under my belt as a middle school teacher. So I totally get it when you find yourself in a moment when you just want to punish or reward. I also totally get it if you read my post last week and were a little annoyed or defensive, so let me add a little more to the story…
The Complexities of Motivation
In 2010, I was working as a Middle School Science teacher at a small school in Ecuador. Unlike my time at an American School, when teachers showed up early to prep and ready their classrooms, most Ecuadorian teachers arrived on the busses with the students. As a result, it became a common trend for all the teachers to be arriving with the students right at 8am, giving everyone just a few minutes to get situated before the first bell. The head of the school, an American, tried to change this habit by implementing a sign-in system. When we arrived at the school, we had to…
Waste Of Time
Sometimes I write things that don’t ever get published. I start with an idea in the OneNote App in my phone - the digital notebook where I start a new page anytime I have a moment of inspiration. Sometimes I just write down the initial idea and eventually delete it. Other times I add to it, edit it, and work it into the best blog post I can write. Sometimes, I do all that, and I still don’t post it.
Inconclusive
I wasn’t sure if I’d post this or not, because it’s personal. But the reason I write is so that other people won’t feel alone. I write for the person that reads my stuff and thinks yes, me too. I write so that I might give someone else the feeling that someone else gets it. So, for all those reasons, here is my story…
The Tetris Effect
Virtual Jury Duty is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever experienced. This morning I promptly joined the Zoom call at 8:35. As per the instructions, I had my camera on and tested my audio and video prior to the call to make sure I was ready. A few minutes in, someone from the Jury Staff introduced themselves and let all of us know that they were going to take attendance. A man then proceeded to start calling out everyone's names. There were over 300 people on the call….
Know When To Break The Pattern
I frequently use the laughing-crying emoji. You know the one? It's apparently popular among millennials. I think the fact that I use it is supposed to be an indicator that I'm old. Not too old, of course. But old enough to remember a world before emojis existed. A world when you couldn't use an image to tell someone immediately how you felt, but instead had to wait until after gym when your best friend could pass them the note you wrote in 3rd period. The reason I use this emoji, however, has nothing to do with my generation or because I love it more than any other symbol. I use this emoji often because…