The Love/Hate List

As part of a way to focus on writing in 2026, I've been participating in the Writer's Digest writing challenge. On Day 3 we were asked to write a love/hate list, an exercise inspired by Katie Bernet's article I Quit Writing, and then I wrote my Debut Novel. I of course did what anyone would do: lurk on the comments already made by other writers to generate some ideas. When I read through the lists, I realized there was very little I could whole heartedly say I loved because most things I love are not always lovable.

The more I thought about each specific thing - reading, writing, running, etc. - I realized I didn't fully love any of them. I then tried to think about which part of those things I actually loved, and which parts I kind of hated.

I love reading when I'm engrossed in a good book, something that keeps me on the edge of my seat and up late at night just so I can find out what happened next.

I hate reading when it feels mandatory.

I love running when the run is over or if it's an excuse to explore a new city.

I hate running pretty much every other time.

I love writing when I’m in a coffee shop, the right playlist is on, and the words are flowing out of me faster than I can type them.

I hate writing when I have writers block.

While Katie Bernet used this exercise to come up with the plot of her debut novel - using things from the love column to defeat things in the hate column - as a non-fiction writer it helped me learn more about myself and what motivates me. I encourage you to make your own list; by dissecting the details of the things you love and hate, you may just figure out a little more about what makes you tick.

Most of the things worth doing live in the tension between delight and discomfort; motivation isn’t born from pure affection but from choosing the parts we love which carry us through the parts we don’t. If we can name those pieces honestly, without pretending everything is supposed to feel good all the time, then we give ourselves a fighting chance at showing up where it matters.

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Things I love:

• Writing in a coffee shop

• Running

• Traveling

• Going for a run as a way to explore a new city

• Coffee

• Chai Lattes

• Owning my own business

• Getting engrossed in a good novel

• That feeling after a social event when I'm glad I went

• Sleep

• Traveling alone

• Hiking

• Great conversations with strangers

• NEIPAs

• Onions

• Avocado toast

• A playlist that matches the moment

• That moment when I get to the top of the mountain and I'm the only one there

• All the good episodes of the X Files

• Refried beans

Things I hate:

• Running (yes, it's on both lists)

• That feeling before a social event when I want to stay home alone for the rest of my life

• Anything that feels unjust

• When I can't do anything about that unjust thing

• Too many people

• Crowded places

• Having the TV on all the time

• Bugs

• Sunburn

• Opening the mail

• Inconsistency

• Any X Files episode that starts with a voiceover monologue

• Every X Files episode about William