Calling is Not Found in Comfort
I was recently scrolling through my phone and saw something that went something like this: whatever you waste your time doing is what you should be doing for the rest of your life. So that's it everyone, I'm ending my business and I’m going to be a full time Instagram reel-watcher with a Hallmark-movie-watcher side hustle.
All jokes aside, while I understand the sentiment, this statement is just not true for me and with most people checking their phones constantly (one study says 58 times/day, another says 144 while another claims a whopping 205 times per day) I'm guessing it's not true for them either. We waste so much time doing things that provide very little value, we shouldn't even commit the day to them let alone the rest of our lives.
For me, the thing I love the most and have decided to pursue for the rest of my life is actually one of the hardest things for me to start. When I am creating - whether writing or working on a new workshop to deliver - I almost immediately find a flow state which is defined in Psychology today as being "deeply focused on a challenging task that you have enough skill to complete, and the activity is rewarding for its own sake." It’s when you feel completely lost in the moment, not thinking about how much you do or how well you do, but just doing the thing.
For example, right now. I didn't want to write and did about 10 things to waste my time before I sat down and started working on this post. It was difficult to start, but once I'm in it I don't want to leave and that's because flow only happens when challenge meets skills. It has to be hard which means we will likely never just fall into it during our spare time. It must be planned and executed.
I've spoken to many people over the years who have sought me out for career advice, especially those seeking to change careers because they know I went through that myself. Through those conversations I have found that most people who are searching for a calling, or their next chapter, are looking for an obvious path; we assume that if something were a calling it would come easy to us, but that has never been true for me. The thing I am called to do, the thing I am best at, takes more effort than anyone would ever guess.
So if you’re waiting for your calling to show up in your downtime - like a hobby that magically turns into a career - you might be waiting forever because your calling probably isn’t hiding in your habits, it’s hiding in your resistance; in the thing you avoid until the house is clean, the inbox is empty, and the laundry is folded. Rather than asking What do I waste time doing? maybe we should ask What do I fight to make time for, even when it’s hard?
Don't look for the easy path but the challenging one where you most often find joy; the thing that feels hard to begin but impossible to walk away from once you’re in it. That’s where the magic lives: not in ease, but in effort; not in distraction, but in devotion. Find that and you’ll find your calling.
